As I begin to enter crunch time here at college (only 6 weeks left to the semester, soon to be 5) things are becoming more and more crowded. I’m still truly debating on the decision that God has placed before me…and it’s not an easy one. But then again, is any decision that God gives to us truly easy?
There is one thing that I have even when trying to make this decision, and that’s the fact that God is still in control. He’ll still lead me even if I venture into the wilderness. Even if I leave formal church services, he’ll still be leading me. But it won’t be easy. He’ll be a pillar of smoke to me during the day times, and a pillar of fire at night. I have no idea what he has in store for me, but I know this…it’s God, so it will be good. Not easy…probably never easy…but good. Because it’s him. I’ve fallen in love with the source of Life, and I’m determined to follow that source of Life wherever he leads me.
I have made my decision, cast the die with Jesus, and with Him my future rests. I know that some people will never understand the decisions that I make…I can only rest in the fact that they can and will see the consequences of my decisions and trust in Jesus. That is how we change the world after all.
We don’t change the world by reaching thousands of people, or going to other countries to just tell them “you NEED Jesus.” No. We change the world by being changed ourselves. As we are changed, we become consumed with Him, and move deeper into Him and knowledge of Him, and people begin to ask questions, to grow curious by themselves. Then we present the ultimatum. We as humans have something inherently wrong.
Since the beginning, way back in the Garden, we desired to live life without complete dependency on God. That is the hole that sin has filled. When we recognize this, and invite God in, and partake of his life, showing complete dependency on Him for our every breath, it is then that we are fulfilled. It is that image that people see. The manifestation of Jesus in our lives is enough to inspire those around us to question. And always remember that we may be but a stepping stone.
It is possible to be normal and a Christ-follower. In fact, we will be the most normal, the most natural when we are following Jesus. We change the world when we are focused solely on Jesus. When we ignore the “Great Commission” we will have the most impact. The most true conversions will occur when we are no longer focused on the “Great Commission.” The most true conversions will occur when we are focused on Jesus…because then people will see who He truly is.
These decisions…they’re never easy. But I have resolved to follow Jesus. The Jesus of the Scriptures, and of real life. A Jesus who is so much more than the cheap image many well-meaning western churches have created without realizing it. I can only desire that the God who is always in control will continue to draw me down this path, and others after me at some point. Because my heart and desire is to love this crazy God. This God who is beyond comprehension. All I know is for some reason, I inherently trust this God. And I’m glad he’s in control, and that we’re not just spinning around in space.
I think I’ve resolved my decision. Now it just comes to a period of waiting to see what’s going to happen with it.