[no title]

As I write this, I don’t have a working title. So I just decided, literally just, to title it as [no title].

I watched the State of the Union address, and it excites me to realize that while these things may not happen immediately, the simple fact that they are being thought of is critical, the fact that they are being talked about even more critical.

This same thing is happening to me right now. President Obama didn’t look even slightly nervous, but to be honest, if he wasn’t nervous underneath, I’d be a little scared.

I’m nervous.

There. I said it.

I’m graduating in less than 4 months, and I currently have no idea what’s going to happen.

I will have approximately $2000, which will be used for a car payment, various expenses related to college, paying off an overdraft for my bank because I needed to use it over Christmas break.

My family is stretched thin due to my Grandfather’s surgery, and other things such as spending for things that aren’t necessary (I’ve done that too though).

My grandparent’s still insist to not worry about it. HOW CAN I NOT? Here’s a man who has worked all his life, serving as the only source of income for who know’s how many years, that suddenly isn’t working. On top of that they have three cars that they’re paying for, one of them mine because I lost child support for turning 21 and that was paying for it and the insurance, plus insurance and all the other bills.

They won’t let me sell my car because I rarely use it up here, there’s usually someone else going wherever it is I want to go, and I could borrow a car during the summer to get back and forth to work. They insist I need it, and sometimes I agree, but at this point with more bills that only one person knows the true extent of (my grandmother keeps that sort of stuff to herself, I’m not even sure if my grandfather knows what they owe) I think it would be justifiable to listen to the little bit of advice I do have and sell my car. I may be 21, and it would annoy me, but I would rather sell my car and cut my current loan in half or possibly, at the very best, pay it off. I can live with getting rides from people. I spent 16 years doing it before.

I see all these issues about finances rising around me. I know I’m going to graduate with somewhere around $80k in student loans. How the hell, pardon my language there, am I going to pay it off?

PLUS I’m planning on going to graduate school in the fall, that is assuming I am accepted of course.

So needless to say, I’m nervous.

But here’s the thing…I hide it well, and I’m nervous, but not worried.

I have complete confidence that I can overcome the scariness that life throws at me.

First, I have complete confidence in God. You may not believe in him, but I do. To some people, it might seem like he’s a crutch. But I assure you that I do not believe he’s a crutch in any way, shape, or form.

Second, a lot of other people have gone through these types of situations before.

There are some things that I have discovered along the way. Some things I do to overcome this nervousness.

1. Learn about money.

    • Learn about savings accouts.
    • Learn about retirement.
    • Learn about loans.
    • Read about how to save money.
    • Check out personal finance websites/blogs
    • Put the things you learn into practice.

2. Find what you love to do, and do it.

    • Love to read? Get books. Possibly the biggest mistake I’ve made is not going to the library. My issue is that I find a book I like, and buy it, assuming I’ll read it a second time. I think that once I really settle with grad school, and afterwards, I’m going to get a library card. Another alternative is to get a Kindle or Nook. Don’t get the one’s that allow you to download apps and stuff, get the cheap one. The one that’s just books.
    • Love to write? Start a blog. Find something and write about it. Aim to write as much as you can. Write short stories. Write a novel perhaps. I’m working on a novel right now. I’ve had the idea of this novel for almost 5 years now. It’s stuck with me, and so I’ve really dug into learning about novel writing.
    • Love to play an instrument? Do it. Play your heart out. Record videos and place them on YouTube. I discovered some amazing violin players, and violin covers of songs. Those videos served as my studying music.
    • Love to cook? Read recipes. Actually cook. Experiment. When I cook, I’ll admit that I generally throw things together and assume they’ll taste good. Often they do, but learn the intricacies of recipes. Learn the ingredients. Develop a passion for food. Enjoy fresh food, stay away from boxed stuff. If you enjoy cooking, you’ll do that anyways.
    • Love to paint? Do it. Watch videos online about techniques. Admire fantastic paintings by other people, go to museums. Learn how the famous artists and painters became famous. Chances are, they probably started out just like you are right now.
    • Find your passion, and do it. It’s pretty basic actually.

3. Talk to people.

    • Okay, this one’s a difficult one. For some people, it’s completely natural, for others, it’s not. I’m one of those others. I never liked talking to new people. Sometimes I still don’t. But it helps when you’re put in a position where you have to. Suddenly, you’re a natural! Well, sort of. But do it anyways. Talk to new people. Talk to old friends, old people, young kids, teenagers. The reality is, you will learn things when you talk to them. No matter who they are. There are times when I’ve learned from talking to someone who was supposed to be learning from me.

4. Dream

    • Okay. This one should be easy to understand. And it is. Dream. Dream big. Dream so big, that it’s unrealistic. To be honest, I would love nothing more to show up to my 10 or 20 year high school reunion, and being asked the question: “So what have you been up to?” respond accordingly. I would love to say that I went to college and graduated. Went to graduate school and graduated. Along the way finding my passion in helping teenagers accomplish things that they had no idea they were capable of, build their self-worth, and see them succeed. Became healthy and lead a very active lifestyle. Written and published a novel that was a raging success. And found the woman of my dreams, love, and happiness. I wouldn’t mind traveling the world sometime in there either, in fact I have two friends that I would love to travel the world with. Not only that, but I’d be financially secure as well.
    • Dream as if there are no limits, because often times there aren’t. Any limits that exist, generally are the fabrication of our own minds. We listen to what others tell us, and assume it’s true. DON’T DO THAT. EVER.

I can be sure that there are things I’ve forgotten. But to be honest, I feel that as I study and learn more about what it would take to achieve my dreams, I will be moving closer and closer. So I’m not going to change the title. But I think a suitable one would be something along the lines of “Living Life.” Maybe. And as one of my professor’s always says gesundheit.


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