Back on Track!!

Well, it was inevitable. It was bound to happen and I’m torn between being sad and happy that it did.

I dropped the whole healthy kick at the end of the summer. Er sorry, let me rephrase that. I stopped living a healthy lifestyle at the end of the summer.

I’m not gonna lie, there was one night when I had a box of those flavored instant mashed potatoes and some philly cheese steak meat. Tossed with some Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ sauce (the best kind if you ask me, although I’m a recent convert heh), and I ate it all.

Yupp, the entire meal meant, with normal portions, for probably two maybe even three people. I ate all of it.

And it continued. I ate several bags of chips. Delicious chips, let me say that much. But I shouldn’t have eaten all of them. But I did.

And then yesterday I had a bag of Reese’s Minis. And I felt sick. Like literally wanting to go and lie down. But I wasn’t sick. It was the mega rush of sugar and crap contained in the Reese’s that did me in.

Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Reese’s. They’re freaking auh-mazing. But you see, the couple days prior I had been eating really good food. Like food that’s healthy for you.

That’s all because I got back into the healthy lifestyle. As I sit here and write this, I’m thinking back and realizing that I actually was a little sluggish when I ate junk food and processed crap. It’s not good for you at all, but I ate it. And after eating healthy for just a couple of days, I could already tell there was a difference.

I think that’s incredible!

Tonight we had green beans, mashed potatoes (homemade, not the instant kind 😉 ), and haddock.

The night before, ham, veggies again, and sweet potatoes (first time with that for me, not bad…but I wouldn’t eat it all the time).

I think that eating healthy really does change things for you. It truly does.

Today I ran two miles. Just cause I could. And wanted to. And kinda needed to.

Do you know why though?

Because I want to LIVE a healthy lifestyle. I don’t just wanna lose weight or build muscle or be able to bench 300 or whatever. I want to LIVE a healthy lifestyle.

So if you’re struggling to live a healthy lifestyle, or maybe you want to make a change…first of all it takes time. But second, and probably the most important point, it’s about being healthy or living a healthy lifestyle.

If you goal is to just lose weight, you’re gonna give up really easily. If your goal is simply to build muscle you’re gonna hit walls sometime. But if you want to live a healthy lifestyle, well you can always find something to work on and improve. As long as it works towards you being healthy of course.

So go, get on track for the first time, or get back on track like me! Although I suppose it helps that I have $40 motivating me. I either get it all or have to fork over the money…I think I’d like to keep it, so I better go out and keep living healthy!!

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A Letter to my Grandfather

So it’s been six months since you died.

And even though I don’t always feel it, and when I do feel it I don’t really show it, I miss you. But I know that death is a part of life. I’ll make it through and I’ll have to face death many times more.

I just wanted to let you know everything is okay.

I graduated from Clarkson just like you wanted to see. It was an awesome day. I’m sad you weren’t there, cause I know you really wanted to be there but it wasn’t meant to be.

I’m going to grad school at Plattsburgh, I got an acceptance letter perhaps a month or so after you passed away. I’ll be there for two years before I get a job at a college someplace.

I just want you to know that you’re missed. By a lot of people I might add.

Grandma’s doing well. It’s not easy, but she’s pulling through. Oh, and we got a cat. I know you never said we would but I guess I won that bet huh? She’s black and spunky…won’t let grandma hold her though, she bites and struggles to get away. She does sleep with her though. A couple weeks ago she knocked gram’s clock off the nightstand in the middle of the night.

We got the cat because Katie is getting older. I would say she has maybe a year or two at best left, but I don’t know for sure. I’m glad you brought her home though.

I’m making a difference in people’s lives gramps, even though I don’t always hear about it or learn about it I am. There’s two boys that I’m mentoring, best kids in the whole world to me. There are times when I want to spoil them like you and gramma have spoiled me. I wish you had a chance to meet them…but it’s okay. They’re growing into fine young men like me, in fact one of them helped me through a tough time the other night when I was on my bed sobbing because I missed you.

Told me over and over how proud you were of me, and with the challenges that I face that I don’t tell anyone about, he told me to make you proud and overcome them. God, I love those two boys like they were my actual little brothers.

Mom misses you, I know that much. Shane and Tiffany too, and I’m sure Uncle Wayne and Uncle Phil miss you too.

I think most of all though, gram misses you. She’s too stubborn to admit it, but I know she does. At the same time, I think she’s handling it better than you would have if she had passed away first.

We all miss you, but life has a way of bringing the best of things out of the worst of times.

Just wanted to write you is all.

Lots of love gramps,

Jeff

The Deepest Love

I think I have finally discovered what God has planted deep, deep down within me. It’s been buried for a long time, and I’ve been chipping away trying to uncover it. But now I think I may have found it.

God seems to have planted in me a gift of love.

What? But every person has love?

Yeah, you’re right…but every person does have a unique gift from God. My unique gift, I think after nearly seven years of knowing God, I’ve found. It’s simply love.

There are people in my life that frustrate me, for example non-responsiveness sometimes, but the moment they talk to me all the frustration and anger I may have disappears. I don’t quite get it, and of course I’m sure that there are people I frustrate simply by little things I do, but for some reason no one ever seems to stay mad at me.

Perhaps it’s because of the gift God has planted within me, this gift of true love. A love that I willingly share and cast without, uh picking and choosing (there’s a better word for that but I can’t seem to think of it).

I’ve found that the people who frustrate me, once I realize they didn’t do it intentionally, or they may have done it intentionally who knows, but once we talk it’s all gone.

I think it’s really that my love for that person is just simply greater than my anger and frustration for them.

But that deep love I have for them, it overcomes a lot of things. There are at least a couple people that I could never ever get mad at. I can think of some that I love so much that there isn’t even a trace of empty space left for anger.

I hold the deepest love possible for very few people in my life. But for those that I do, I would do anything for them. They are held in my life in such deep reverence that there is nothing I wouldn’t do for them. I would and will hold onto them for as long as my life continues.

I think that’s all I can really say for now…but wait for it and you will eventually find your gift from God. He’ll show you when the time is right, trust me on that one.