Life.

So this post is a very personal post to me. Of course that’s why I’m putting it online blah blah blah. Regardless it’s personal and I’ll get into it after.

Today in one of my classes our professor asked us to write our obituary.

I’m pretty sure I’ve done it before sometime when I was in high school, but I don’t really remember it, and I’ve grown up a lot since then. So without further ado, my obituary:

He was a great friend to those he met. Those friends he became close to meant the world to him. He was willing to go any distance for them, to do anything they needed, to give them nearly anything they wanted. 
 
As he got older he developed an infectious passion for living life. Really living, not just doing the same old thing everyday. He loved people, could talk to anyone and make them feel like they were the only person in the world. His love for life changed people. People merely saw him, complete strangers even, and couldn’t help smiling and wanting to love just a little bit more. 
 
He died as he lived, embracing death as a friend and having accomplished his dream of changing the world. 

Rudimentary I know…but the thing is as I wrote it this time I realized just how much I’ve grown up. I wrote another piece in another paper for another class that showed me the same thing.

Before I merely wanted to be successful, now I think about changing the world. Why not dream big? We as human beings have these moral values that serve us each as a guide, but too often we let them constrict and bind us. We limit ourselves and thus our dreams. I want to challenge those limits, I want to break them and their hold over us. Our morals do not define our limits, our morals guide us into our dreams and passions. 

My life has truly shifted. I’ve grown up to be someone that I am recognizing I can be proud of. I think that’s a weird way to put it, but it’s true. Even as I write right now I realize the limitations I put on myself, the ways I hold myself back. It’s this moment right now that I need to decide: do I stay where I am or do I break the barriers that are holding me in?

There are people in my life that I love dearly, do I hold onto them even if they cause me to remain where I am?

There are things in my life that I enjoy, do I keep doing them if they cause me to remain where I am?

I cannot answer all those questions. I don’t have the answers right now.

I can tell you what my perfect life looks like. I would spend all day, every day with my closest friends. I would see the world with them and we would ponder the deep questions of life. But most importantly we would live life. We would change the world. They already do and would challenge me and change me. I would reciprocate and do the same for them. I would help others to realize there is much more to life than what they know. I would challenge others. I would love everyone unconditionally. My life would be lived, I would not merely exist.

That is I think the most fundamental thing I need to recognize. In my life, for too long I have merely existed. It is time for me to live, it is time for me to dream big and follow my passion with all that I have.

All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible. This I did.     ~T. E. Lawrence

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