Is that your final decision?

Well, well, well, seems like I haven’t been very active on here this week!

I’m alive though! I promise! (If you can’t tell, my voice is finally coming out in my posts here 😛 which is totally exciting!)

Anyways this week has been really up and down for me. Last weekend I got to have a great conversation with my friend from back home (the one who had a problem texting me back and got me so frustrated). It was awesome! We chatted for a while…and then he started doing it again. He stopped replying, and I don’t think I really sent that many text messages to him! So, needless to say I’m completely confused. But anyways I talked with his best friend, also a close friend of mine, and he said to just leave him alone for a few days.

I was like, okay. But that’s gonna be super hard for me. And it is. I can already tell, like I already want to text him and it’s only been two days! ARGH!!! I’m so frustrated!

This morning though after my run (I ran every day this week so far! WOOT WOOT!!) I found another page on Facebook that I like, you know more of those photo quotes 😛

And on that page I found this quote.

Unfortunately that’s not the first time I’ve seen it. I saw it yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that. I’m starting to think something is going on here.

But then I found this other quote.

And then I realized I don’t know what’s going on.

As I sit here right now, I can’t help but wonder if this is the way it’s meant to be. I wonder if his part in my life is over. I pray that it’s not because I love all my friends and I would hate to have him leave my life. He’s had such a huge impact in my life.

And then I ran into this quote.

So now I’m all confused. I’m truly torn between wanting to repair the relationship that seems to be broken, and wanting to let it go and see what happens.

I would say this is by far one of the most difficult periods I’ve gone through yet, and I’m not sure what is going to happen.

I guess the point that I’ve arrived at now is if I stop texting him completely, you know stop giving him support, is he going to notice? Will my friend who is like a little brother to me notice? I just don’t know. And the more I think about it, the more I realize I can’t let it bother me. The decision I made last week, or a couple weeks ago I’m not sure, I need to follow through with. And up until now I have been.

These past couple of weeks have been amazing, just in little ways. I had the house to myself last weekend and danced around because I just got super happy. I found a music video cover of Nicki Minaj’s Starships that is totally acapella however they make the music with their own mouths…oh forget it, I’ll just show you!

Go ahead, listen to it. OH! And it’s created using a lot of normal people! I watched the actual music video by Nicki and I totally like this cover soooooo much better.  Just the sheer number of people who pitched in is amazing! I truly want to bring people together for something epic like this!! I think when we truly bring people together for something like this it’s just pure awesomeness!

I’ve been dancing in my room to this song lately. It’s just so fun and energetic 🙂

And yesterday I went to a presentation by a paralympian. This guy, Jason Rieger, got into an accident in 1996, and only has 10% body function. But this dude is out playing WHEELCHAIR RUGBY! He went to Athens, Beijing, and London for the paralympics, and played in the world championships at least three times.

I thought about that and realized if he can do that, I absolutely do not have a right to complain because my back hurts when I’m running two and a half miles.

But anyways, the presentation was awesome, AND he gave people the chance to look at his bronze medal from London (the only time the wheelchair rugby men’s team hasn’t taken gold in the last three or four Paralympics). AND I got to wear it! To be honest it was really awesome to look at the medal. They have braille around the edges for obvious reasons, although to be honest I’m not sure what sports those blind participate in…but the medal was really kind of cool.

I don’t know that I’ll ever wear an olympic medal of my own, but then again if you had asked me if I’d be in graduate school and desiring to work with teenagers to get them into college when I left high school four and a half years ago…well I’d have said I have no idea.

I still don’t, so while although I don’t know exactly where my life is taking me, you know what, I’m gonna live it. If my friend wants to come along, then he’s more than welcome, in fact I’d love it, but now it’s time for me to live life.

So you know what, I’ma tell you the same thing!

Go, live life, and those who want to be with you will follow! And if you live life, you give others permission to live life too. It’s a weird fact but I’ve learned it’s totally true, so go for it.

Oh man I totally almost forgot the photo!!!


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