[enter snazzy title here]

You know, there are times when I wonder what I’m doing. I wonder am I on the right path?

I haven’t been writing, I haven’t been working out, I haven’t been entirely truthful with some close friends. I’ve been violating personal principles.

I guess I have to realize that I’m still learning who I am.

I guess I get worried about whether everything is going to work out y’know?

I guess the silver lining in all of this is that I realized that I don’t know what I really want.

I have vague ideas, but no solid ground. I guess it’s really that I just don’t know what I’m doing right now.

Now. That doesn’t mean that what I’m actually doing right now I don’t want to do…I want to do it very much because I enjoy it! But sometimes I wonder you know, what am I going to do after I’m done with school?

I have friends that I’ve made, that I love very much, and I don’t get to see them often.

I have yet to find love. I wait patiently, preserving who I am for whoever I meet. Of course I have met some whom I hope to call mine one day, but I guess at the same time I don’t know what to do there either….

Really I’m just confused in general I guess. Maybe I need to figure out what I want. I feel like I’m rambling on and on. See this is a time when I wish I had someone who I could just ask “What should I do?” and they’d tell me.

Of course that’s a silly concept though!

See I never really realized just how much I judge myself, how very little self-esteem I have, and how very um, lost (?) I am. I’m not sure that lost is the right word to use there.

I guess I can sum it up like this…I don’t know exactly what I want. I don’t really know who I am, and really what I would love to do is just hang out with my friends all day doing all sorts of stuff. I long to just talk and develop deep friendships with people I love without all this peripheral stuff like school and working for money and stuff going on right?

Oh well…I suppose that I shall some day attain that status, preferably sooner than later though….


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