Still waiting…but this is what I want

For a long time I’ve been single.

I still am.

But I want it to change, I really do.

You see I want to meet that woman who makes me smile.

I want to see her every single day and still get nervous.

I want to take long walks at night with her, in the summer and in the winter.

I want to hold her hand and not say a word.

I want to spend hours talking about nothing.

I want to go and watch a movie, quietly holding hands as things blow up or as the girl gets the guy.

I want to cuddle up next to a fire with her.

I want to just sit in her presence.

I want to treat her to home cooked meals.

I want to look at her and see her blush.

I want to spend a lifetime with her.

Her good looks are a bonus.

People are always telling me that it’s all about the sex.

Will the sex be good?

Of course!

But I’m not going to be having sex 24 hours a day, seven days a week am I?

I want to be able to live a life with her.

I want to go on bike rides.

I want to be able to play laser tag or paintball.

I want to have nerf gun wars.

I want to read books together as she leans against me.

I want to laugh at television shows.

I want to grin for no reason.

I want to hold her when she cries.

I want to come up behind her, wrap my arms around her waist and whisper in her ear.

I want to hold her face and kiss her.

I want to know her family.

I want to meet her friends.

I want to giggle like teenagers at something silly.

You see that is what I want.

People have told me that single life is the best!

Well, it’s been nice…but I’m tired of being single!

I’m ready to find that girl and fall helplessly in love.

I’m ready to see her wake up every day.

I’m ready to see her annoyed with how she looks first thing in the morning until I tell her she’s still beautiful.

I’m ready to see her happy, upset, frustrated, overjoyed, annoyed, excited, crying, laughing, and loving.

I want to have that person who is always willing to talk.

I want that person who is always excited to see me.

I want to know that I’m always on her mind.

I want to know that she’s always counting down to the next time we’ll see each other again.

I want to have a real connection with her.

One that is true.

One that is deep.

One that means the world to her and to me.


Want a sample?

So. You’re curious about my story? You’re wondering what my story is? Well here you may begin to get a picture of what it could be. Here you have an extremely small sample, only about 800 words out of nearly 113,000 that I have written, but a sample nonetheless that you hopefully will enjoy! Let me know what you think!

“The Castor’s and the Carnor have always presented a united front to the people of Avonaire…is there any logical reason that it should end?” Michael Legen said staring through the curtain of water at the Secret Council.

“I think that this union should be abandoned with the Ech-ler-eas missing for nearly ten years now, he’s probably dead by now.” A woman said. She walked towards the curtain of water and stared through it at Michael.

“Imalrine, sit down. Michael is our ally, as are the others with him. None of them have done anything but help preserve us. And we do the same for them.” The man sitting on the dais said, leaning forward now. “The partnership with the Carnor will not end.”

Imalrine glared at the Carnor, her gaze lingered on the girl. She returned to her seat.

“Master of the Council, what would you have us do about the Ech-ler-eas?” Michael said focusing his attention on the man sitting on the raised platform.

“What do you believe has happened?” the Master said.

Michael looked back at the man to the left behind him. He received a grim smile and a nod.

“After looking for nine and a half years, Thomas and I have agreed that Joshua Shint is indeed dead.” A sob issued from the girl behind him. Michael knew how much the ech-ler-eas meant to Cassandra. “I’m sorry. I had hoped to tell you before the session.”

”I give Cassandra Wandra and Elias Whispre leave for the remainder of the session,” the Master said, “Thomas Bline, you may approach.”

Elias and Cassandra left the chamber as Thomas moved forward next to Michael.

“There is one last matter to discuss, the recruitment of new Castor’s. Long have the Castor’s been born into casting. We have never taught our skills, knowledge, and lore to anyone, save the Carnor, who was not born into Castor’s.” The Master looked to his right. On the very end sat Imalrine. “Recently however, it has been thought that it may be possible to teach a commoner the way of the Castor’s. To instruct them on how to cast.”

There was an audible gasp from the remaining five members of the Council. Michael leaned forward, forearms on his knees. His icy blue eyes rested steadily on Imalrine. ‘This is not good’ he thought to himself ‘she is a very dangerous woman.’

“Although I do not approve of this idea at all, the request has been made by Imalrine to select five commoners and determine whether it is possible.” The Master said.

“But Master, it is against the very covenant from which we get our powers. We cannot possibly break the covenant.” A male castor to the Master’s left said.

“That is true Mendlin, but aren’t all rules made because they were broken once?” Imalrine said. “Then it should suffice to say that it can be done again?”

“But what were the consequences Imalrine? What happened so that to teach commoners was forbidden in the covenant?” Mendlin was now standing.

“They entered the City of the Void. They stood where we are standing, and the Castor’s couldn’t take it. They were prejudiced against them purely because they were commoners. There was no other reason. They just didn’t like them.” Imalrine had not even moved.

Mendlin stood staring at her. He sank back into his seat as the Master of the Secret Council began to speak: “It will be a vote of nine. Michael and Thomas, as Carnor you have the right to participate. I will begin.

“I, Master of the Secret Council, vote no.” The Master looked to Imalrine.

“I, holder of the first seat, vote yes.” Imalrine said. The Master’s eyes now turned to Mendlin, seated opposite of Imalrine.

“I, holder of the second seat, vote no.” Said Mendlin. And so the eyes of the Master moved to each Castor on the council, rendering the verdict at five yes’s and two no’s. Imalrine would train the commoners, but the vote needed to be finished officially first. His eyes fell on Michael.

“I, the eoshain-ves, controller of water, vote no.” Michael said. The Master’s eyes moved to Thomas.

“I, the eoshain-ma, controller of earth, vote no.” said Thomas.

“Then it is decided. Imalrine, you have leave to train five commoners of your choice. The one restriction that I impose is that they may not be brought here to Ald-taas. They may not enter the City of the Void, not because I am prejudiced, but because the full extent of their potential is not known. I will not risk the chance of them destroying all Castor’s if they cannot control their powers.”

“Understood Master.” Imalrine stood and gave a small bow.

“You are all dismissed. A word with you, Michael…”

Writing Your Story

Everyone has a story. I know I’ve said that before. But what happens when you actually write down your story?

When you write down your story you get books such as Harry Potter, The Lord of the Rings, A Song of Ice and Fire, Twilight, The Legend of Drizzt Do’Urden, Redwall Abbey, and Percy Jackson.

I’ve written that every person has a story and they tell it in different ways.

I tell mine through my novel.

I spend my moments in the world of Tasguliere.

I wander around the land of Avonaire, through splendid cities of my imagination.

Through Ald-taas, a great city buried beneath the ground, the ceilings held up by ancient pillars of magic.

Through Jennarra, the Garden City of the Mountains, ruled by the Lord Unai and Lady Liliane.

Through the streets of the lost city of Yinaed, streets paved of pure marble, a great diamond throne surrounded by a great pit and unapproachable by any.

Through Niessran, the home of the Carnor, a city built within the mountain Awchaeld, caverns delving far and wide deep within.

Through the Upper World, a land spread far and wide to the north, where snow is never found thanks to a spell cast by a powerful queen with necromancers and illusionists surrounding her.

The Verniablas, dark creatures, vile and evil who can make a person’s worst nightmares come true.

The Castors, a chosen race of people who can use spells to defend and attack, a race of people who have the ability to pass between the natural world and the Void.

The Carnor, a chosen group of people by the mysterious Eriasham, they hold in their hands the ability to manipulate fire, water, earth, and wind.

The mysterious Tyrensi, a trio of top notch assassins who move in perfect unison.

This world consumes me. This world draws me in ever deeper. The characters within it tell me their stories. I see great battles that come alive before me. I see gorgeous men and women with deep personalities and amazing pasts.

I see the depths of my story that delve ever deeper. I see the backstory that defines the villain, the traitor, the pariah, and the hero. I see the way each character of the main cast, all 25 thus far, plays into the greater story.

So what is this story? What is this thing that burns in my heart?

It’s something that I have really never questioned before but now understand it to be there.

Here is the real question that I discovered burns within me.

Is our destiny determined…or do we forge it ourselves?

Sorry, I’ll be back I promise!

I disappeared again…sorry ’bout that! School caught up with me, writing caught up with me, my personal life caught up with me, everything boiled together.

So I’m writing tonight although I can’t say when I’ll write again! Big surprise right?

Life is weird.

That’s really what I wanted to say.

Life is friggin’ weird.

I’m very close to my friends, and when they don’t always talk or respond, well I get disappointed. Even though I know that they do care, they just don’t want to talk.

It saddens me, but you know it’s not a huge deal. Well, at least that’s what I tell myself.

I guess the biggest thing is to remember that I’m me. I’m me and I cannot change anything, of course I can definitely get hurt by that, often times way more than I should. But I care, and I’ll never stop caring.

So in that place I’ll just keep living and enjoying simple things…why stress about things that I won’t be able to control, I mean I will still stress, but that will be a little less stress.

Anyways, enjoy your life until I actually write again!