Playing Catch Up

Well, it has been a long time since you’ve heard from me!

I’m terribly sorry about that.

But I do have great news to share should you want to hear!

But we both know you’re going to hear about it anyways don’t we. *insert cheeky smile*

Two major things.

First, I finally have my masters degree!

I’ve spent two long years, directly after my four long undergrad years, directly after my thirteen years for high school, junior high school, middle school, primary school, and preschool. My life has been made up of school. That’s it.

And right now, for the first time in a long time, I have no school coming up. And quite frankly, it’s kind of scary. But at the same time, I’m ready to have a full time job. Which means a pay check. Which means benefits. Which means stability that I haven’t had in a long time.

I’m honestly very excited about this phase of my life because I get to use everything I’ve learned, but also I get to strike out on my own. I’m excited and ready to venture out and begin to build a career. I know that I’m planning on getting a doctoral degree at some point, so having some experience will be a benefit before I work towards something related to Educational Policy or something similar.

It has been a long time and I’ve worked very hard to get here.

And second, within a couple of weeks, I’m going to be a published author!

My first novel is currently at the proof stage and being read by some sample readers. Once they give their approval, and I check it over to make sure that there are no big issues with the way it looks, it’s a go. I click that the proof is okay, and it’s off to be sold on the interwebs and I instantly become an overnight success!

Okay.

Well maybe not an overnight success.

Except in my own eyes of course. This is one of those things that I’ve wanted to do since I’ve been in 10th grade. So, in my eyes, I’m an overnight success. It has been one of my lifetime goals, in my short 23 years so far, that I have pursued and accomplished. So here’s to me!

Of course, I want you all to be able to read my masterpiece. Once it goes live, I’ll be posting some links here to allow for everyone to purchase them.

I want to tell you all that I’ll hopefully be writing some more posts (I think I make that promise a bit too often sometimes!). I have one that I’m still mulling over in my mind, so most likely you’ll see something posted about that particular post. I can’t give away any of those ideas just yet! For now, you’ll have to wait and enjoy what you can!

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Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture

There is something about living a real life that is enticing to me. Too many people just get up and go to work and come home and have dinner and go to bed to just rinse and repeat the next day.

I don’t want to do that.

Ever.

And if I do, please someone do something to snap me out of it.

So awhile back I found two things that really ended up getting me into really thinking about what it is I want out of life. I found them both from Trent Hamm’s website when I was really into learning about debt and other such things.

The first I initially ran into thanks to Upward Bound, that was Tuesdays with Morrie. But the second I found thanks to Trent, and that was Randy Pausch. He gave a truly inspiring lecture, one that even though I can’t quote directly from it, I know that it gave me a desire to change where I was headed. I didn’t want a boring 9-5 job. I didn’t want to get “back to the grind.” Hell I never want to be in the grind in the first place.

But anyways, enough of me rambling on, first a quote from his book The Last Lecture, and then you can watch the video. Now it’s a long’un. But trust me. Watch Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture and you won’t be disappointed.

I always look for the good in people, because how can you say that someone is always bad?

“Find the best in everybody. Just keep waiting no matter how long it takes. No one is all evil. Everybody has a good side, just keep waiting, it will come out.”
― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

Use your eyes a little less

It’s no secret that looks can be deceiving. (And if you thought that they couldn’t be, surprise!) We oft depend on our eyes too much. Yes, I will admit that they are absolutely wonderful things and there are a thousand other colors that we can’t see. But the fact that we can see colors at all is amazing. The biology of the eye is really quite astonishing, but I won’t spend any time trying to convince you of that. I want to talk about using our eyes a little bit less though.

I recently reread the book Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. When I was a student in Upward Bound seven or eight years ago (dear god how time flies) I can remember going to see the play. At the time I had no idea that it was based off of a book. Then at some point I discovered it and got the book and thus far I’ve read it two or three times, a rarity for me. I usually don’t reread books despite the fact that I have a small collection that I have purchased to keep forever. But the books that I do reread, there’s usually a reason.

I’ve reread the Harry Potter series (because they’re awesome), the Lord of the Rings trilogy (an epic that I aspire to write something like), and Tuesdays with Morrie. There might be a few others, but they’re so few that I really don’t remember them. That should speak volumes for what I think of the books I do reread. But enough about my reading habits. On to the real material!

One of the quotes from Tuesdays with Morrie that I wanted to share comes from a small in-between chapter. Mitch Albom talks about how the college class he was in is practicing trust falls. Everyone seems to be uncomfortable with it until one girl closes her eyes and falls. Her partner catches her, a relief because I’m sure it would have been awful to hit the floor. The best part though is what Morrie says about it (this is him speaking in the quote below), and of course that’s what Albom is pointing out with the entire story.

‘You see,’ he says to the girl, ‘you closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too–even when you’re in the dark. Even when you’re falling.’

Appearances carry too much weight in this world. Far too much.

I can be honest when I say this to you. I have found, in some cases, much more trust in those whom I thought I could trust the least. Those that I trusted the most in the beginning showed me in the end that it was not necessarily true. I would let my sight of them determine what I felt and how much I trusted them. What I found was that as I came to know them, my expectations became entirely different.

Along with what Morrie says, I found another quote someplace, I don’t remember the first place I saw it unfortunately. But a quick search yielded a great photo for it. 88a0a688a6927efca42404d344dac78b_large

Those things that are most beautiful in this life, are never seen by the eyes. They are always felt.

I wish that I could articulate the feelings I have for one individual, and I have tried. But I can not, for the life of me, properly articulate the feelings I truly feel and have because I’m not supposed to. In a way, they are far to precious and beautiful for me to share and so I’m prevented from doing so. I cannot properly express the overwhelming feelings of gratitude, love, and acceptance that I have for them. But I can feel them.

When I close my eyes to listen to a song, it’s almost as if I’m in another world.

When I cry, I enter into a place of solitude where no one can follow.

When I write, I enter into a world that I call my own in every possible way.

When I dream, I rarely share them. I shared my dreams with someone once, a very close and dear friend of mine. I shared with him a piece of my dream and he was surprised at what they were. It was a side of me that he had never seen before, and rightly so because the most beautiful things are never seen by the eyes.

So all of this to say, use your eyes a little less. Never close them, no, don’t do that. You could miss seeing the beauty of the universe. But those things worth seeing the most, those things that are the real heart and soul of people, those things, you can never see with your eyes.